'Thank you,' the judge told Espinosa as he concluded the hearing. Espinosa said he has no money in the bank and has lived in South Florida his whole life. NBC Miami: "'In November of 2013, stole 300 pieces of Dream Angels women's underwear,' said, reading from a report on the case. Florida Man steals 850 pairs of underwear from Victoria's Secret. While the Jenna Jameson doll is not further described by investigators, it appears likely that the stolen item was the 'Jenna Jameson Extreme Doll,' a battery-powered model in the likeness of the 39-year-old porn star. The Smoking Gun:"The suspect walked up to the counter of the Inner Secrets shop in Vero Beach and asked worker Cathryn Morales 'some questions about the doll.' Following the perp's question time, he 'grabbed the doll off the counter and ran out of the store' without paying for the product. Drunk Florida Man attempts to ride bike through Taco Bell drive-thru, fights with police. The aunt told investigators that the woman was drunk, and that no one had chased her." 3. "The responding deputy located the woman in question, who was at a nearby mobile home with the man's aunt.
He told them that 'the men' abducted his wife and that 'they used holograms to project signals on the walls to get him to do what they wanted and to communicate with each other,' according to a sheriff's report. Huffington Post:"The man, whose name has not been released, was 'extremely agitated' and holding a baseball bat when officials arrived. Florida man claims wife was kidnapped by holograms. He then threatened to beat up the IHOP server and shouted, 'Hey buddy!' before dropping his pants and exposing his buttocks to the IHOP employee, according to the Sentinel. Friday and told a server who asked if he had money, 'No, but I am a cop, and I get food for free,' according to a police report obtained by the Orlando Sentinel. International Business Times: "Matt Skytta, 55, entered the IHOP around 1 a.m.
#Florida news headlines free#
Florida Man flashes buttocks at IHOP after impersonating a police officer to get free food.
It almost sounds like Florida Man is a superhero - just a really terrible one."Īs 2014 comes to a close, it's time to salute the best and brightest of this year's class of Florida Men. He feels no pain, has no ethics, and is capable of feats far beyond that of normal American man. Jalopnik's Patrick George described him best as "America's worst superhero" in 2013: "Whoever this Florida Man is, he's clearly insane and unstoppable. And although he hails from the nation's wang, Florida Man embodies America's deepest and darkest desires - and does so with reckless abandon.
#Florida news headlines crack#
His batshit antics were once frequently documented on the Twitter account headlines like "Hospital Nearly Burns Down After Florida Man on Oxygen Tank Tries to Smoke Crack in ICU" and "Florida Man Firebombs Boss' Truck Because Meth."
Florida Man is a raunchier version of The Onion's mild-mannered Area Man, a caricature, with a wink and a nod, to our fellow Americans.įlorida Man is best known for his outlandish conduct, which ranges from the bizarre ( carrying a meth lab in his pants) to the terrifying ( trying to ignite a "race war" near Disney World). He's an amalgamation of the characters who populate the ridiculous news stories that often trickle out of the Sunshine State. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more perfect caricature of America's wildest, bawdiest, and most unintelligible impulses than Florida Man.Īs the internet's most notorious citizen, Florida Man isn't a single person, let alone a single resident of Florida.
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